..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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