Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
