It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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