he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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