You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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