If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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