Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
