Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
