I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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