Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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