i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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