This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize