Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I love you. Go after that dick
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
