He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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