whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
