Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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