You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
