So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
