I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
