Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
