god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
