so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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