You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
