ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
