i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
