JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
