i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
