And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
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As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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