what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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