Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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