I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
