i permit you to call me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
