I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize