Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
