Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
