omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
