North Korea, Best Korea!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The air taste purple.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
