I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My penis needs a shock collar
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
