Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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