singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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