Whod you bang
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize