Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
