worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
