The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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