Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize