just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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