it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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