Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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