: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you never un-have a 4some
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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