The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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