everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
