I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
