I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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