Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex. (773): Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"? http://tfl.nu/bxnr
  Replies (15) Good night (690) Bad night (2000)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners... http://tfl.nu/4h9y
  Replies (40) Good night (3611) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl. http://tfl.nu/ta0b
  Replies (81) Good night (979) Bad night (4677)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high. http://tfl.nu/dl85
  Replies (63) Good night (7929) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes! (1-859): please elaborate on, "atleast one ear" http://tfl.nu/8j2w
  Replies (20) Good night (6562) Bad night (1228) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street http://tfl.nu/sbee
  Replies (13) Good night (4404) Bad night (1357) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): And then she banged "the first Italian rapper" http://tfl.nu/oswg
  Replies (7) Good night (805) Bad night (2129) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something. http://tfl.nu/it4y
  Replies (15) Good night (2612) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I will also be strapping forties to the puppies. http://tfl.nu/upgh
  Replies (14) Good night (2141) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them.. http://tfl.nu/vwfx
  Replies (6) Good night (2927) Bad night (1335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too http://tfl.nu/j3jp
  Replies (10) Good night (2911) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick. http://tfl.nu/7vfn
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (1427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand http://tfl.nu/1hp7
  Replies (1) Good night (1416) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/2pf8
  Replies (6) Good night (1607) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/m30n
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt

Randomize