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No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
