The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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