Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
