I bet he comes in French.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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