I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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