So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
