Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
